Meme-whacked — Twice

I’ve been nailed nominated again to do the "8 Random Things" meme — and this time, by TWO people.  Hmmm…does this mean I have to do sixteen?  You’re wincing right now, huh?  Thinking, OMG, does she actually expect me to read all this?  And where in hell are the food photos?  But I promise I’ll make it fun.  Well, I’ll try.  Okay, so, I’ll figure out something to keep your interest.  Uh….I just looked back at the posts and I guess it’s 7 Random Things.  Oh well, you have some extra…

Okay, these first 8 are for Elle at Feeding My Enthusiasms who is a fellow Daring Baker and resident of California — she in the north, and I in the south.  Elle, I would totally move there in a second.  San Francisco is my FAVORITE place.

1. I have a "regular" blog, too.  And it’s funny, because when I write here, I see and think about my audience very differently than on the other blog.  My writing changes, and I sometimes feel like a completely different person. The reason this "random thing" is first is because you can get a complete view of who I am by reading Who, Me? for starters at kellementology.  Clearly, I’m a tad unbalanced.
   
2. I dropped out of college about a year from finishing because I was sick of school, and wanted to escape the guy I was engaged to who was an obsessively controlling person.  It worked.  I saw him — or rather, he recognized me at jury duty not too long ago, and asked me if I knew who he was.  I didn’t.  BAH-hahahaha! Life sucks sometimes for people who are full of themselves, doesn’t it?  I was stuck listening to him talk about himself and all his accomplishments for a half hour!  (kinda like this meme…blah, blah, blah…)The whole time I stood there looking at him, I couldn’t believe I would have married this person, and was absolutely shocked at how much he had aged.  Unlike me, of course, who has remained so very youthful. *grin* It’s the extra poundage that keeps my wrinkles from giving away my age.  Call it inflation.
3. I was very close to opening a cafe once upon a time.  Well, actually, a tea shop.  A tea-themed shop to be exact.  Tea, pastries, cards, books, linens, lovely plates and cups — that sort of thing. I think it overwhelmed my husband who is a very conservative type.  It’s a little warm spot that I keep in my heart and haven’t given up on.  It’s never too late, right?  Life is too short to ignore what you love.  Truly.  That’s why I’m sitting at home right now trying to figure it all out.
   
4. I lived in Spain for four years while I was growing up.  My father was in the Navy, so we went with him.  We lived near Rota, and in a small village called Chipiona in the south.  It was THE loveliest time of my childhood.  We roamed freely around the village and the beach attracting much attention from the people who lived there who must have thought of us as those wild American kids. We made friends with a Spanish boy (Esidro?) who was much older than we, and sort of took us under his wing.  He also encouraged us to do things we weren’t supposed to do and we’d get into a lot of trouble for it.  My hair was extremely blonde (Tow Head) and very long then.  People actually would reach out to touch my hair.  That didn’t go over very well with me because I was painfully shy (what the hell happened there???) and it scared me to death.
5. I currently own every single Martha Stewart Living magazine issue ever published.  Scary, huh?  It’s a problem.  I’ve been thinking of getting rid of them, but that would mean that I’d have to go through them and cut out all the pretty pictures. I’m a sucker for magazine photos.  That’s another problem.  Shhh….don’t tell anyone.  Kay?
6. I’ve had a love affair with old movies since I was 12.  I LOVE them.  I’ve thought about listing them somewhere just to see how many I’ve seen, but it would take forever.  There is a motion picture database on line, so I could use that, but some of the movies I’ve seen are really obscure. Mother was a Freshman.  Cynthia, Sorry, Wrong Number, The Enchanted Cottage…I loved them all.  It’s sad when I turn on Turner Classics or AMC now, because often, a movie from the ’70’s or ’80’s is on, and I’m sorry, but that isn’t an old movie as far as I’m concerned. My favorites are from the 40’s and I love a bunch from the very early ’60’s as well.  *sigh*  Those were the days…
7. I did finish my degree — but with two small children in tow and a part time job. Oh, and I was a single mom at the time.  Uh…that was easy…NOT!  I got my teaching credential, got my Master’s degree and taught grades 2-8, but mostly 6th.  I taught English for about 10 years, and was a school principal for four years before I left the profession completely burned out about 7 months ago. I’m currently getting un-exhausted thanks to my lovely husband who said I could take a year off.  Nice.  Guy.
8. I will be 51 years old on my next birthday.  Fifty-ONE.  True.  It seems like EVERYONE in bloggsville is younger than I am.  See — you weren’t quite sure about whether I was a seasoned chick or not, huh?  Most people say I don’t look my age.  I say, "gee, thanks," but it’s no big deal because I’ve never had a hang up about age like so many other people seem to.  I especially love it when I read a blog where someone is whining about being 30. Oh, please.  Isn’t 50 the new 30?  Bwah-ahahaha!  I truly believe it’s a frame of mind.  But keeping my body and brain active certainly helps.  Tennis, anyone?  (when pigs fly…)

And the next 8 are for Lis at La Mia Cucina who has to be related to me somehow, somewhere in time.  You know like Sis-tahz.  I LOVE her.  She makes life so hilarious.

1. I adore reading trashy romance novels.  And right now, I’m on a strict literary diet.  It’s depressing.  I miss Nora Roberts and chick lit in general.  I don’t have to think about anything when I read those books.  Time flies and I flutter through fantasy land.  Sorry.  I can’t help it.  I love crime novels, too.  Does that help?
2. I have owned over 20 cats in my life.  I love cats.  My boys all love cats.  I love their f**k you attitude which is only a front, mind you.  Mine follow me around the house all day.  It’s hilarious. When I’m sitting in my chair reading the paper or watching TV, the dog is at my feet, one cat is behind me sprawled across the back of the chair, and the other moves from one arm to the other, using my stomach as a spring board.  UGH.  It’s a little much.   
3. I read the obituaries every single day.  I’ve been doing this for years.  No one else in my family does, so it’s a bit strange.  I guess it’s my way to recognize someone’s time on this planet.  The odd thing about it is that I have seen my third grade teacher’s obit (she was my teacher in Spain a gajillion years ago, so how strange is that?) an old navy wife friend of my mom’s (also someone my family knew in Spain and never had contact with after that), and sadly, a guy I remember from high school.  Okay.  My bottom lip is sticking out, now, so I’m changing the subject.
4. I went away for a girl’s nite out several years ago with some very good friends.  We stayed at a very swanky hotel for a night, drank lots of wine — discreetly, of course (snort!) — and went down to the beach to walk.  We ended up in the surf in our clothes.  Well, some of our clothes. No — no "skin" but I’m thinking we could have ended up as "News at Eleven" yanno?  And no — it wasn’t my idea.  I was coerced.
5. I love frozen microwaveable burritos.  With green sauce.  Gross, huh?  I don’t eat them now (honest), and haven’t for years, (control) but oooooooo, baby, could I mac those if I wanted to.  I know.  You less than heart beans.  Mmmmmm…..frozen bean burritos…..with sauce.  Green.  I don’t love how they explode in the microwave when the RT cooks them.  The house smells like beans everytime we use it.  I guess I should clean it, huh? 
   
6. I’m a tough ass mom.  My two older boys pissed me off because they were such slobs and weren’t being responsible with school (I think they were about 9 or 10).  See?  You’re feeling sorry for them already, right?  So I unplugged their Sega (one of those video game thingys), collected all the games, and we had a ceremonial march to the trash dumpster.  You should have seen the looks on their faces when the neighborhood kids dove in after the stuff after I made them throw it in.  I warned them.  Fair play.  Rude, huh? 
7. I pretend like I know how to grow orchids.  Well, I try to grow them, so it’s not all that lah-tee- dah.  Remember, I don’t have a ho-lotta space to plant things at my hacienda.  I have about 14 orchids.  Mostly oncidiums, but I also have dendrobiums, 1 phalaenopsis (they ALWAYS have bugs for gawdsake and it pisses me off!) and two very big cymbidiums that need to be repotted.  I’ve read a couple of books, am learning about repotting and proper feeding formulas.  When they’re ugly, or get bugs, I chuck ’em in the trash.  The biggest thing I’m working on now and seeing some success with is reblooming.  It’s like raising kids — except the chucking in the trash part.  Heh-heh…  This is a second time bloomer.  WOOT! (and I don’t want to hear about the photo being sidewayz.)
   
8. I absolutely am terrified of going to the dentist.  It really freaks me out.  It’s a toss up between the dentist and swimming in the ocean (and you know I’m forcing myself to love that right now).  No, the dentist wins.  They know that I get really worked up and although I make jokes about it, I’m sure they can see the horror in my eyes (picture caged animal) and go easy on me.  My teeth are crap — they always have been.  So I’ve been there and done it all and am exhausted by the time I get home.  I count the dots on the ceiling panels to keep myself calm.  Do Lamaze breathing.  (Lotsa practice from giving birth to two of my boys with not a SQUAT of any meds…)  It’s ridiculous that I’m such a complete BABY about it.  I’m a pretty tough chick otherwise.  Really.

Kay.  Done.  How’d I do?  Stoopid, huh?  Blah-blah-blah….and then, yackatta-yackatta-yack. Sheesh.  What a wind bag, huh?

Don’t know who I’m gonna tag, so I’m taking the easy way out (which I have been known to do for survival) and say that if you read this sentence, TAG, YOU’RE IT. Besides, there’s this little recipe I have to make today that I’m not really looking forward to making…It’s going to a baby shower type dinner tomorrow where I get to have all the vicitims party goers do their reviews…I’ll let you know how it goes.